|
|
Post by The Resister on Jun 29, 2022 14:54:17 GMT
The Pope hadn't driven a car in forever and convinced the limo driver to change places with him for this one ride into town. The Pope is feeling good and gets a little heavy on the gas pedal. A cop pulls the Pope over and approaches the car. The window comes down and the cop sees the Pope. The cop, not knowing what to do, asks the Pope to wait a moment. The cop goes back to his car and radios for his supervisor. The cop says, "I've got a real problem here and don't know quite what to do. I've pulled over a really important person." Then came the interesting exchange:
Supervisor: Is it a famous celebrity?
Cop: No
Supervisor: Is it a well known athlete?
Cop: No sir
Supervisor: Is it a high ranking politician?
Cop: No, sir, it isn't that either
Supervisor: So, who is it?
Cop: I don't know, but he's so important that his chauffer is the Pope
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 29, 2022 23:50:57 GMT
A church is passing out donation boxes. “Whoever pays the most money for the church can choose three hymns at the end of the service,” the pastor offers to lure more donations. When the gay man receives the donation tin, he leaves a $1000 in the tin. When the tin arrives at the pastor’s office, he is taken aback! “Whoever made such a tremendous donation, please make yourself known!” he exclaims. “I did,” the gay man adds as he stands up. The pastor gives the man a friendly grin and says, “Thank you so much for such a generous contribution to this church! The church would appreciate it if you could choose three hymns.
“I’ll take him, and him, and him!” the gay man says as he points around the cathedral.
|
|
|
|
Post by The Resister on Jun 30, 2022 14:14:18 GMT
Gas has gotten so high that I decided to take the bus. Yesterday I went to the bus stop and sat on the bench for a long time. Finally I look over at the woman on the other side of the bench and said "I've been sitting here so long my butt went to sleep." She said, "I know, it's been snoring for the last ten minutes."
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 3, 2022 1:42:07 GMT
Q: How do you know when an Asian broke into your house?
A: Your math homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and 2 hours later he’s still trying to back out of the driveway.
|
|
|
|
Post by The Resister on Jul 7, 2022 16:35:23 GMT
A plane crashed killing all the people on board. They were met in Heaven by God Himself. God said, "I'm sorry about the way you violently left earth so I want to make it up to you. Therefore, I'm granting all of you one wish each." The first lady God pointed to thought for a few moments and said "I'd like to be beautiful." A man in the rear burst out in laughter as God granted the wish. God went to the next person and it was a man. He thought long and hard and finally said, "I'd like to be handsome." God granted the wish as the man in the rear of the group bent over in laughter. Through the whole crowd, the wish was the same. They wanted to be beautiful and handsome. Then God got to the man in the rear of the crowd and asked what wish he had. The man replied, "I wish you'd turn all those people ugly."
|
|
|
|
Post by The Resister on Jul 12, 2022 4:07:01 GMT
A penguin took his car into the shop to have it looked at. The mechanic said it would be a couple of hours before he could get to it so the penguin went across the street to an ice cream parlor. The penguin ordered a large sundae and proceeded to make a royal mess of himself (having short arms and all.) He got ice cream everywhere. The penguin returned to the shop and the mechanic looked at him and said "It appears you blew a seal." The penguin replied, "I didn't really. It's only ice cream."
|
|
|
|
Post by The Resister on Jul 20, 2022 4:36:45 GMT
A little girl of the age of 5 asks her mother where babies come from. The mother said, "Well God created Adam and Eve. Then Eve had babies and we all came from that."
The little girl went to her father and asked him where babies came from. The father said, "It started with monkeys and monkeys evolved until there were little boys and girls."
Now, the girl is really confused and she went back to the mother and explained what her father said and asked which of them was right. The mother said, "We both are. I was talking about my side of the family and he was talking about his side."
|
|
