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Post by The Resister on Dec 21, 2022 3:45:29 GMT
I did get enough feedback to make the ending of this thread worthwhile. This is a summation of what needs to be done and I remind everyone to read the first thread on this subject: resisters.freeforums.net/thread/157/manThat brings us to the check - off list for every male to think about based upon a Christian perspective. What follows is a summation of the most important things you need to know in order to go from boy to man. I wish someone had told me this stuff when I was a kid: 1) You have to begin by remembering that the mind is like a parachute. It functions best when it's open. The first skill set that anybody should develop is that which exercises one's critical thinking skills. Critical thinking skills allow you to look at any issue and any problem, analyze it, see it from the other guy's perspective, look for alternative perspectives on the issue, accept the fact that in most instances all points of view may have some merit and you should seek to be fair and impartial 2) ALL of us answer to somebody. We may not like it and we may not agree, but we all answer to someone. One spouse answers to the other; the employee answers to the employer; the debtor answers to the creditor. I would advocate that you answer to your God. Of course I will advocate that an individual answer to our Christian God, Yahweh. The Bible does not change. The rules are applicable regardless of what era you live in 3) A man develops a list of priorities. In order of importance that list of priorities are God, family, job, nation, neighborhood / friends. Without God there is nothing. Without families you wouldn't exist, without a job you cannot fulfill your responsibilities and without a nation the rest of your priorities are meaningless. Man has an innate need to serve his God, his family and his country 4) It is said that the body is the temple of the soul. The Bible puts it another way: " What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?" I Corinthians 6:19 You do yourself NO favors by doing drugs or engaging in alcohol abuse. People destroy their bodies with tattoos and body piercings (not to mention that they destroy their own anonymity.) Even " legal" drugs are problematic in America. Many legal drugs are a gateway to hard core illegal drugs. A certain amount of pain, discomfort, and emotional conditions are a natural part of life. A preacher told me at the age of 16 that excessive sex leads to prostate problems. People believe that is a scare tactic. But, it's true. Of course, that is one way to prove that if you live by God's laws you may have better health 5) As the Bible says never follow a multitude to do evil. You may want to believe in a lot of conspiracy theories; you might be inclined to vote for the lesser of two evils; you may want to support something just for the satisfaction of having a sense of winning. Don't do it. Since I don't want to throw too much at anyone too fast, let's pause and let you get caught up. Make notes and I'll post again soon.
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Post by The Resister on Dec 23, 2022 21:43:32 GMT
There are about twenty points I wanted to share with everyone, so let's pick up where I left off and give you some more things for consideration: 6) In a man's list of priorities are those he has with his family. If every man could have the information I want to impart here before he made the mistakes, it would be worth a million dollars to him. I urge you to pay attention. A man, in a just society, has the burden of being the leader of the house: " But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God." I Corinthians 11: 3 "22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing." Ephesians 5: 22 through 24 There is a duty for the husband to take charge of his house. We haven't done that in America for a long time so you have wholesale divorce; one parent households (mostly the mother is the only parent.) BEFORE you get married you should know the score going in. Despite the fact that we're being told we're a " secular" nation, our society still expects the man to be the head of the household. This, however, is NOT a control mechanism. As the head of the household you must conduct it as Christ would His church. The man answers to his God and his family answers to the head of the household. If you don't lead your family, it will deteriorate. Period. So, before you get married, I'd suggest that you attend a few sessions of premarital counseling. I'd even be willing to do a thread on this board to tell you some of the things you MUST consider before taking your wedding vows 7) As the head of a household (and this applies whether you are single or married) you are responsible for finances. I'm seeing guys in their 20s, 30s, 40s, and beyond that have no clue about finances. They live with mommy and a few are dependent on girlfriends or their wife for money. A lot of guys live with mommy and take advantage of food stamps - which is actually a debit card that the government gives those too lazy to work. Each month, the government puts money on the card for food. And many people have three hots and a cot, a cold beer and they watch the monkeys chase a ball on television or waste endless hours playing games on the Internet. OMG. They need to be thinking about their education, developing a skill to pay the bills and how to acquire wealth. You cannot be the head of the house without a skillset to put food on the table and pay the bills. This is an important aspect to being a man. A lot can be said for owning your own home, your own car and being debt free. As a man these are priorities. These are things you start thinking about BEFORE you get into relationships. Again, if you want more info, we can discuss it here OR you can contact me through www.angloisraelites.com and we'll discuss it 8) If you intend on becoming a real man, you will want to be self-sufficient, self-reliant and independent. If you are a grown man and depending on your mommy for everything, what is your plan for when she becomes too old or dies and can't support you? And, if you are letting someone do for you when you SHOULD be doing things for yourself, how can you even begin to think you're a man? 9) Prioritize your life. If you want to become self-sufficient you have to prioritize your life. The basic necessities in life food / water, clothing and shelter. Then you have to think about mode of transportation and essentials like insurance and making enough to pay for all of life's incidentals. When you can't make enough, you learn how to do without and sacrifice. Then you learn how to work more hours, develop a skill that WILL pay you enough to lead the kind of lifestyle you want to live. When I was very young I sensed all of this. As a result I grew up not smoking, drinking, doing drugs or wasting money that had to be used for essential things. I have members that literally hate me because I don't " share the wealth." They want to come and live with me for free, but when I tell them if they can afford cigarettes, pot, booze, illegal drugs, convenience store sodas and junk food they can afford rent it offends them. It may offend you. However, that is what I had to give up and I would not ask you to do anything I would not or could do myself 10) WRITE IT DOWN. The key to all of this is to WRITE IT DOWN. If it's on your computer you will want to surf the net, answer e mails, play games, etc. If you get a spiral notebook and write down your goals and how you're going to achieve them, you can look in that book every day and every time you get a chance. You will have lists of things you want to do accomplish and set realistic dates to do it by. A spiral notebook will go with you anywhere; needs no WIFI connection; doesn't need batteries and it will not tempt you or distract you from achieving your goals in life. It will help you. I have about ten more tips and if you just attempt them you will notice a difference in your life. Get ready for real changes if you're following the plan.
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Post by The Resister on Dec 27, 2022 5:29:40 GMT
I wanted to do 20 points and not write a book. At half way through those points I am almost succeeding. Let's do another 5.
11) "And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise." Luke 6: 31
That is the Golden Rule aka Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. You should keep that in the forefront of your mind. I belonged to the Boy Scouts before the fairies and Catholic priests used it as a pedophile paradise. Well, at least where I was the leaders were straight, married guys and their sons were usually scouts. Anyway, their Boy Scout Law is worthy of including as a blueprint for your own life:
Trustworthy Loyal Helpful Friendly Courteous Kind Obedient Cheerful Thrifty Brave Clean and Reverent.
We can discuss any aspect of this that you care to
12) I once had a supervisor that trained a lot of younger guys. Let me blunt in the way he put it: "A man that won't use his brain may as well been born with two assholes." It was kind of direct and blunt, but that was over four decades ago and I laughed the first time I heard him say it to one of the newbies on the job. But, the truthfulness of that statement has stayed with me all these years. PART of being a real man is the willingness to use your brain. I see far too many guys that don't use their brain. At the current time (since 2015) more females graduate college than males. More than 6 percent of the people in college in the U.S. are foreigners. And today you can go onto most construction sites and what do you see? Hispanics outnumber the whites by a great majority. Try to hire service related professionals to do anything around your house and you get one of two people: There is Bubba in his new super duper truck, expecting you can pay him a surgeon's wages to fix a toilet OR you get cut rate foreigners that do the job for a third of what Bubba wants.
If you aren't smart enough to go to college, learn a skill. If you learn a skill (a service skill) people will seek you out regardless of what you're impediments or disqualifications are (be it a criminal record, lack of formal education, or bad credit. Allow me a trip down Memory Lane:
My father was an entrepreneur, but he had a criminal record. But, he went out in his spare time and learned how to use a backhoe. He went out and bought the ugliest hunk of junk truck in the world. We fixed it to run and the old man began looking for backhoe jobs to do. He started by renting a backhoe by the job and undercutting the big box guys by more than a third. Ultimately he got a bit greedy and did some nasty tricks... but they worked. He built a triple A credit rating and then went to Allis Chalmers and got a backhoe for thirty days to "try it out." He used it to make money for those 30 days and returned it. Then it was on to Ford and he did the same thing. He did it to International Harvester and by summer's end, he had made enough for a down payment on a brand new backhoe. By then he had built a name for himself and had good equipment so he was able to charge the big bucks. Moral here: Overcome, Adapt, Improvise. I'm not advocating what he did; just letting you know you CAN succeed if you use your brain and learn how to sacrifice and build for the future
13) Becoming a man is no easy job. That is especially true for a generation (and generations - plural) that have never witnessed desperate times. Desperate times were those like the first colonists faced in their first winter in the New World and also of times like the Great Depression of 1929 to 1939. According to founding father Thomas Paine:
"That which we obtain too easily, we esteem too lightly."
You can never appreciate anything that you didn't earn. THAT is one of the primary reasons that America has deteriorated into what we have now. Nothing is free and you will have what you want IF you earn it
14) Two of the most counterproductive things we are doing to ourselves today is to live with anger and animosity. As America slips into the pages of history we are all mad. We can blame foreigners, election fraud, the "woke" mob, taxes, politicians, the left wing liberal media, assaults on our Rights, the attacks on our values, etc., etc. ad infinitum. We even have strong feelings of animosity toward those that engage in actions against us. But, at the end of the day, we are really mad at ourselves. We allow the media and the government along with special interest groups to think for us. They create the boogey man and we just play along never thinking to use our critical thinking skills and ask ourselves what part of our situation is OUR fault? Start today. Forgive others. Accept the fact that YOU ARE THE MASTER OF YOUR OWN DESTINY. You have a God that wants you to succeed, but you are expected to work to get there. If you allow people to take advantage of you along the way that is YOUR FAULT
15) A real man is a good citizen. Do you vote? How much time do you spend studying the issues? Do you investigate the people that represent you? Do you contact your elected representatives? Do you work in any organizations that represent the values you claim to believe in? Do you donate to the organizations and causes that you believe in?
Do you use what you know to help your community? I've been a foster parent and I've donated a lot of legal research time for those who could not get legal help AND to organizations fighting for what I said I believe in. I also helped co - found what was the largest and most continuous citizen militia in the United States. I've been a minister (actually still trying to start a separate denomination as many here know.) My resume includes, but not limited to lobbyist, political campaign manager and political activist. A good leader never asks his men to do that which he cannot or will not do. Here is a case where someone is practicing what they preach. There are 168 hours in a week. If you work a regular job, you spend 40 hours working your regular gig. If you sleep 8 hours per night (some of us don't need that much) that is another 56 hours leaving you with 72 hours per week. What are you doing with all that time?
My last installment is up next.
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Post by The Resister on Dec 28, 2022 4:20:28 GMT
This thread could become an outline for an interesting book. Maybe someone can use all this information as it is what I wished someone had taught me BEFORE I went into the world on my own. Let's continue with this and give you the last few things of importance. 16) For a number of years now (and especially with the rise of MAGA and Donald J. Trump) a lot of people have been mad and even anxious to have confrontations. My own demeanor is that I turn the other cheek, but when I've had enough, well.... it's not one of my more socially redeeming qualities. Still, unlike the people who marched at the Capitol at the behest of Trump, I stay out of trouble AND in the four decades that I have dispensed advice and sought to have people help me with political activism, not one single soul has ever been arrested, charged or spent a night in jail for doing as I suggested. That is the value of what we are about to discuss next: We opened with the most important skill we can apply to a situation: critical thinking skills. Add to that what you need to know is that you should think before you act. What are your options and what are the consequences? You should always exhaust all of your nonviolent political and legal avenues of redress before resorting to extraordinary actions. Unfortunately, we are at a time in history where you may be out of options and have but two left: Resist OR submit to slavery. Just make sure you know when you're out of options before doing anything that you cannot reverse. I do want to give this some context by way of current events. I read a story about people that participated in the January 6 Capitol Hill rally trying to use Sovereign Citizen arguments as a legal defense: www.thedailybeast.com/jan-six-rioters-are-using-sovereign-citizen-defenses-to-try-to-get-out-of-prisonHere is an example of people ignoring EVERY piece of advice I've dispensed in this thread. Trump endorsed the National ID / REAL ID Act - E - Verify. I started telling the anti-immigrant lobby 25 years ago that their support of such legislation would come back to bite them in the ass. You absolutely CANNOT agree to National ID based upon your Socialist Surveillance Number ...ooops, " Social Security Number" and subject yourself to the NEW WORLD ORDER and THEN try to claim your Preamble Citizenship. According to the Bible, a double minded man is unstable in all his ways. Next, those non-thinking dolts will be telling you that the Sovereign Citizen arguments don't work. Of course they won't if you have sold your unalienable Rights to the government and have a National ID Card... aka " Social Security Number" based ID. Where do you suppose their critical thinking skills went? Did they bother to weigh their options? Exhaust all their nonviolent political and legal avenues of redress BEFORE January 6? 17) A real man cares about his body, appearance and his soul. Eating right, sleeping right, getting the right amounts of rest and exercise, study and leisure time go a long way into keeping you motivated and keeping a positive attitude. Do you really think that people that eat junk, put drugs into their bodies, get too much sleep or not enough, adorn their bodies with tattoos body piercings and watch their friends die early deaths are really satisfied? 18) My mother taught me that a man is known by the company he keeps. That is why I always picked father figures to look up to when I was young. My father hung with low lifes that ended up in prison... as did the old man AND, unlike many males, I didn't do the monkey see monkey do thing. I wanted to be like the men who had relatively stable lives. A radio personality I used to listen to said, you become who you hang out with. Pick people that are stable and whose lives you like to live 19) In relationships, you have to remember that others are judging you. If you want a good wife, treat your mother with love and respect. Honor her. A potential wife looks at the relationship you have with your mother to see if you are marrying material. If you want the girl, don't fail the test 20) This is extremely important:IF YOU WANT TO BE A MAN, QUIT BEING A DAMN SNOWFLAKEMuch of the chaos and divisiveness in America is due to political engineers pitting one side against another when, in reality, all sides are going to the same destination - just by different routes. Those trying to make a difference have to offend people in order to be effective. " If you're afraid to offend, then you cannot be honest." Thomas Paine Many people want to offend you for the sake of getting a reaction. And the other side is that older guys are frustrated because the youth of today don't treat people with respect. They don't listen. Worse, they don't ask questions. If you were to ask older guys questions about their advice, they might be able to figure out where they went wrong. I mean, my generation screwed things up royally. Some of them did put SOME effort into it, but failed to do the things I've asked of you in the course of this topic. I know they are, on average, stupid. Go back twenty five years when they were being told that the current method of trying to effect change was going to fail. How many of them listened and acted on it? Some of them might know what I know, but are too stubborn to step up and change the status quo by admitting what went wrong and doing something to bring this country back to sanity. If you want to be a man and have a better life; if you want to have something for the future; if you want to inspire others to work with you for a common good; if you want to be in charge of your future and have a happy and productive life, then you have to change YOU. That's my spiel. God Bless and Happy New Year
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lee
New Member
You have unalienable Rights from Jesus Christ our Creator; No Government can take it away.
Posts: 122
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Post by lee on Dec 29, 2022 0:29:36 GMT
I have been reading this thread and have to say it is very helpful and I find that everything "The Resister" has written about is not only helpful but helpful to me. There is not a lot of advice for Men anymore. By advice, I mean positive advice for Christian Men desiring to live right and earn a decent living without relying on parents or friends. Men are not the hard truth anymore if so it is rare. I hope there is more posted on this thread.
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Post by noclevername on Dec 30, 2022 17:53:18 GMT
I have been reading this thread and have to say it is very helpful and I find that everything "The Resister" has written about is not only helpful but helpful to me. There is not a lot of advice for Men anymore. By advice, I mean positive advice for Christian Men desiring to live right and earn a decent living without relying on parents or friends. Men are not the hard truth anymore if so it is rare. I hope there is more posted on this thread. Certainly more needs to posted on this thread if we are to have specific information on finances. This would be a help to me and probably you as well. Can we get some more information please?
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Post by The Resister on Dec 30, 2022 21:34:42 GMT
I have been reading this thread and have to say it is very helpful and I find that everything "The Resister" has written about is not only helpful but helpful to me. There is not a lot of advice for Men anymore. By advice, I mean positive advice for Christian Men desiring to live right and earn a decent living without relying on parents or friends. Men are not the hard truth anymore if so it is rare. I hope there is more posted on this thread. Having spoken to both lee and noclevername via texts and e mail, this gives me a chance to respond to both, in detail, and maybe provide some answers that they can rely on. This may inspire you to ask more questions for your specific situation. The first thing any man should do is to get a spiral notebook with divided sections in it. One with five sections is good, but two three subject notebooks will work. The first section is what your goals and objectives are. Your goal may start out as you want to be self sufficient, self reliant and / or independent. YOU have to figure out what YOU want. Next you want to define for yourself those goals mean exactly. Do you want your own house? An apartment? Are you content renting a bedroom in someone’s house? That is the first thing you need to figure out. When it comes to finances, your order of priority is food, clothing, shelter and mode of transportation. Behind that are the expenses related to your personal health, hygiene and insurance. The first consideration you have to worry about is where you are going to live. There are food banks, churches and you can even rely on the almighty state for what is still being called food stamps, but is actually money put on a debit card for food items. If you’re unemployed, disabled, etc. the state will give you some money to buy food with. You can supplement that with food from churches and food banks. That is your worst case scenario in the short term. Let’s suppose that you want your own house, but that seems like it’s eons away. Well, if you rent a house or an apartment, your expenses will be such that a house may be months or even years down the road for you (if at all) – depending upon your situation. Your first alternative is to opt for an apartment, but consider roommates so that you can save money toward your own place. The next best option is to rent a room in someone’s house for six months. Your next alternative is to use your car for shelter and get a membership to a gym that has showers so that you can bathe regularly. During this six month stretch of getting ready for a place of your own, you have to save most of what you make. With apartments you have to pay first and last month’s rent, utilities deposits, and have enough for expenses for a month or two. Then you may have to get a roommate if it’s an apartment or renters to share a house with. Then it’s rent or buy? Keep this in mind: If you rent, you are helping someone else become wealthy and all you are getting is shelter for that month to month term. When you leave that rented abode, you have exactly nothing. If you buy, a portion of your mortgage payment goes toward the principal of the loan which means you have equity in a home. Inflation means rising prices and any improvements that you make on your home translates into more net worth for you. Owning gives you something back for what you spend on shelter. There is no upside to renting.
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lee
New Member
You have unalienable Rights from Jesus Christ our Creator; No Government can take it away.
Posts: 122
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Post by lee on Dec 31, 2022 1:20:28 GMT
I appreciate your post and always adding to this page more information. I just purchased a spiral notebook from your own advice for shaping my life more and perfecting everything with setting goals. What kind advice to have for someone in a marriage where the spouse is honoring the family first? My Brother is at wits end with this situation and doesn't know what to do.
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Post by The Resister on Dec 31, 2022 4:37:34 GMT
The problems men face sometimes seen insurmountable. Because our country was founded on Christian principles, people were (and most still are) willing to help a woman rather than a man. It is easier for women to get invited to stay with friends and / or family when their personal situation goes south. For that reason the males in today's society cannot expect to be mollycoddled. In order to get into a better position it may mean sacrifice and pain. It may be uncomfortable. But, what is the choice?
If you are in a bad arrangement right now (whether it's with parents or someone you don't like), that situation will only get worse, not better. When you are under someone else's roof, you don't have privacy and you don't have any power to change even minor things. Heaven forbid that you ever have children once you're in that position. The longer you stay in a bad situation not only does it get worse, but you find yourself unable to get out. You become reliant on the other person to help you meet the rent and / or other expenses. You may fear giving up that which is comfortable. So, in your spiral notebook, after you've written down what your goals and objectives are, you want to write this down:
In three months I see myself - Now write down where you see yourself in three months whether it's an apartment, in a job, in school... wherever you see yourself living out the dream, what you will be doing In six months I see myself - Repeat the same sentiment as above
Now write down the same thing for one year, two years and five years. The first page of your spiral notebook is your blueprint to get from where you are to where you want to be. The more precise you can be about where you want to go in life, the faster you can get there IF YOU HAVE A PLAN. I see a twofold problem in our society today:
A) Most males don't know WHERE, exactly, they want to go and B) Most males don't understand the concept of saving
When you have the shelter thing worked out, you have a major part of the battle won. If you can REALLY live under someone else's roof and not have the security of having your own place, it may make it easier for you to have money for doing whatever you feel is important to you. If you live with someone else and focus on education and job skills, that is a good reason to stay in that position short term. But, if you go out and get A job (that is just any old job)rather than the one that may provide the lifestyle you want and you develop A lifestyle (a lifestyle that lets you get by and little else), you will most likely stay in that position until circumstances FORCE you to change. You could write down in your spiral notebook that you will rent a room for three months while you get out of debt, raise money for a house, mobile home or apartment... or whatever you decide to live in. The more specific you are in your notebook, the greater the chances are that you will achieve the goal if you have a plan, set time limits and work toward the goal every day.
PART of the problem with many of today's generations is that many lived with one or both parents and never paid rent. In many cases, the males may have been unemployed long term. Most of the time their mothers let them stay and home and most mothers mollycoddle their "boys." They do not understand the concepts of sacrifice and real worries. It's a big burden of having to start paying half or more of your paycheck just for a place to live and still have to pay for utilities. I get that. It wasn't easy for me in my generation either. In 1980 most entry level jobs paid around $3.25 an hour. Low cost housing for a small apartment was $200 a month. That worked out to be 62 hours of one's pay (before taxes) for rent on the cheapest rent in town. Today, the average entry level job pays about $600 (based on a 40 hour work week) so the lowest rental you could think about is $930 a month in order to have the same dilemma that my generation faced. Dollar amounts have changed, but the number of hours you have to work to have the same amenities is about the same.
Sooo... in order to have basic housing on entry level jobs you have to split expenses with someone OR work more than 40 hours a week. You don't want to be a slave wage. And, sooner or later, most of you WILL face this dilemma if you don't start thinking about your future NOW. You cannot live on a 40 hour work week if you are working entry level jobs that don't require specialized training. Trying to make a career in a warehouse, restaurant, retail sales, production job, or laborer type position is not a future. If you don't want to invest in a college degree, you should start thinking about service oriented jobs. Plumbers working for themselves make more than attorneys. Electricians, HVAC people, carpenters, mechanics, and those who are proficient with computers can work for themselves and make a great living. You just need to know what is on the table for you in the future.
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Post by The Resister on Dec 31, 2022 5:20:51 GMT
I appreciate your post and always adding to this page more information. I just purchased a spiral notebook from your own advice for shaping my life more and perfecting everything with setting goals. What kind advice to have for someone in a marriage where the spouse is honoring the family first? My Brother is at wits end with this situation and doesn't know what to do. I'm a bit baffled by your question. If a spouse is honoring the family first, that is what they're supposed to do... UNLESS that spouse is honoring the family they left to be in a marriage. From a prior communication that is what I inferred relative to this situation. Let me answer from a biblical perspective first: " 21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; 22 And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." Emphasis mine, of course (Genesis 2: 21 - 24) That is the duty of the man (without multiplying Scripture.) For the wives in a marriage, this is the admonition: " 22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. 25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself." Ephesians 5: 22 - 28 Presupposing that the man does as he is required and his wife doesn't do what she's supposed to OR if the man isn't doing what he is required to do, something has to give. A house divided against itself cannot stand. Marriage is a contract. When God married Israel as his people and the people rejected his Word, God divorced the Israel people, but later remarried them (New Covenant or New Testament) - an in depth issue we can examine in another thread if necessary. Put another way, there are at least two parties to a contract. In legalese we say party of the first part and party of the second part. Let's say that the husband is the party of the first part. The wife is the party of the second part. If the wife (party of the second part)breaks the contract then the husband (party of the first part) is no longer bound by the contract and can exit it with no further bondage to the law. A person is free to stay in a bad situation, but if someone isn't living up to their vows, the victim (for lack of a more descriptive adjective) is not bound to stay in that situation. As a practical matter, if someone ignores their wedding vows and the spouse being on the wronged end is miserable, that situation only gets worse with time. If you bring children into this world, the situation gets intolerable and either divorce or the inevitability of having a dysfunctional home is an absolute guarantee. And, if you don't have children, you have NOTHING in old age. If you go to government approved marriage counselors, their objective is to get both parties to get along from a humanist / secularist standard. Or, put simply, if you're a man suck it up and move forward. Put your antiquated religious ideology on the back burner and go along to get along. This is something to consider at this stage: "According to some research, approximately a quarter of couples who receive marriage therapy report that their relationship is worse two years after ending therapy, and up to 38 percent of couples who receive marriage therapy get divorced within four years of completing therapy." guidedoc.com/does-marriage-counseling-work-statistics-facts#:~:text=According%20to%20some%20research%2C%20approximately%20a%20quarter%20of,get%20divorced%20within%20four%20years%20of%20completing%20therapy. Is any of that helpful to you?
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lee
New Member
You have unalienable Rights from Jesus Christ our Creator; No Government can take it away.
Posts: 122
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Post by lee on Jan 3, 2023 1:30:08 GMT
Yes, great help. Unfortunately my brother has been trying to deal with his situation for months into a couple years at least only to see things worsen. I myself hear of common problems all around amongst especially those in there 20's and 30's who are married. I believe the big problem is the enabling of parents and people not seeking to follow God.
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Post by The Resister on Jan 3, 2023 4:24:16 GMT
Yes, great help. Unfortunately my brother has been trying to deal with his situation for months into a couple years at least only to see things worsen. I myself hear of common problems all around amongst especially those in there 20's and 30's who are married. I believe the big problem is the enabling of parents and people not seeking to follow God. In my own personal life, I have a lot of experience from which to draw upon. My wife had two sons. One died of a drug overdose back in October. Neither ever earned a high school diploma; neither of them ever worked a job (the oldest was 37 when he overdosed and the younger is just a few years younger.) Both of these guys smoked and did illegal drugs (youngest still does.) It is easy to live beyond your means when mommy foots the bill and it is the mothers that are their children's worst enemies. Enabling your children will NEVER help them. When it comes to girls, there is the old saying that a boy is a son until he takes a wife, but a girl is a daughter for all of her life. When it comes to loyalty and obedience toward God's laws, women have no regard for it (as a sex.) If you find a female that isn't brain dead, buying into the ideology that nobody can " make" them do anything, then you have found a once in a lifetime gem. Most females think that to be subservient to the male in the house is beneath them. Still a house divided against itself cannot stand. Further, when women decide that the family they grew up in is more important than the marriage they committed to, then that marriage is not a marriage and most will fail. If a man stays in a relationship where he has to live off emotional table scraps and is always number 2, 3, 4, etc. in the relationship with mommy, daddy, siblings, aunts, uncles, etc. meriting all the attention and loyalty - then the man settles for nothing (which some do) OR they end up giving their spouse the ultimatum... but the man knows exactly how that ultimatum ends when he makes it. Unfortunately, it is the lesser of two evils choice.
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lee
New Member
You have unalienable Rights from Jesus Christ our Creator; No Government can take it away.
Posts: 122
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Post by lee on Jan 11, 2023 2:26:21 GMT
I know it is discouraging not only for my brother but many Americans and men across the world. One thing I have witnessed for years is American Churches, at least most do not tell the females real role in a marriage or at home. The Pastors usually brush it aside and are very quick to tell the man's role. Do you find this to be true as well? The topic of the board I have brought up to fellow co-workers and they are hooked that anyone will even touch on this topic.
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Post by The Resister on Jan 12, 2023 19:26:17 GMT
I know it is discouraging not only for my brother but many Americans and men across the world. One thing I have witnessed for years is American Churches, at least most do not tell the females real role in a marriage or at home. The Pastors usually brush it aside and are very quick to tell the man's role. Do you find this to be true as well? The topic of the board I have brought up to fellow co-workers and they are hooked that anyone will even touch on this topic. Women do not understand their role in a Christian society and in today's secular humanist society, everything is bass ackwards and upside down. Consequently we have women wearing the pants in the family; some using the power of the government to be the de facto head of the house. A lot of women are now lesbian, binary, bi sexual, asexual, etc., etc. In short they are all screwed up. It's hard to be a man when you cannot lead your family due to the interference of the government. Therefore, going into a relationship, the man should tell a woman what his expectations are in a marriage. Here are some things that a man must convey to his wife in order to have a viable marriage: 1) Every woman is under headship. The married woman is under the headship of the husband. Unmarried women are under the headship of their father. (I Corinthians 11: 3 and Numbers chapter 30) 2) The woman was created to be the help meet for the man, and in this capacity, she was uniquely designed with respect to body, soul and spirit (Genesis 2: 18) 3) The woman was designed to be the perfect compliment to the man and was to become her husband's best friend and companion (Genesis 2:24) 4) The woman is to obey the husband (Ephesians 5: 22) and and she must live under his headship (Ephesians 5: 23) 5) A wife is not a wallflower who exists for the pleasure of the husband. The Proverbs 31 woman is busily engaged within the walls of her home with various types of industry that will enhance and aid the families material needs. The home cottage industry spelled out in Proverbs 31 would be indicative of the talents exercised by a Godly woman. The problem we have in society is that the American people have given the power over to government and forfeited their Godly roles. Still, if the man lives in a home that is marked by dysfunction, we automatically look to the man as being the primary reason the house doesn't work right. It is a holdover from our Christian nation. Most marriages in America end in divorce. If the wife doesn't put God at the head of her life and if she doesn't want to believe, a husband only has limited options. If the woman decides that she doesn't want to live in a Godly household, then the husband can let her depart and the husband is under no penalty of the law. It wouldn't make sense to punish the victim.
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lee
New Member
You have unalienable Rights from Jesus Christ our Creator; No Government can take it away.
Posts: 122
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Post by lee on Jan 27, 2023 20:47:55 GMT
I have been sick and just getting back to this board. I have read alot on the Proverbs 31 Wife and fell in love with it. Unfortunately, not many women adhere to the Bible or follow the princple's of marriage anymore. Men seem to be outcasted by the System and Society and as a young man I see it more everyday in my job, in school and throughout our world. As I have matured and ages I see where my mentors and peers older than I have been right in many ways in guiding and directing me.
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