lee
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Post by lee on Dec 26, 2023 16:44:10 GMT
I am seeking someone's input here on a situation of mine. I am married and currently separated by choice from my Wife. We got married on the same ideals but when once we got into the marriage, I truly saw the huge differences. I do not desire for her or my myself to stay in a marriage that is incompatible or ran by her mother and in-laws. Her mother has been ruling the marriage for the entire time and my Wife allowed it. It wasn't until I left everything was promised to change as it always has been promised but failed to happen. What does God say about Divorce? What should I do? I desire to do what God's Will is for this.
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Post by The Resister on Dec 26, 2023 22:04:32 GMT
Let's get down to brass tacks and basics here: You seem to be saying you got married and your wife dishonored the marriage contract by living outside the oath of marriage and having her mother and other relatives run the relationship. Obviously this has become so intolerable that you are considering divorce - I mean you've separated, so that is some indication you think the marriage is over. You still want to please God and you want to do what is the best and most logical thing you can do in this instance. Let's apply the biblical principle here real quick: "21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. 22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing." Ephesians 5: 21 - 24 If you've submitted to the Lord and run a Godly household and kept up your end of the marriage contract, then your wife is bound to obey the law. You have as much authority in your house as the Lord has over the lives of you and your wife. There is no ifs, ands or buts about it. A wife is supposed to submit to the husband and his word is the same as if the Lord commanded it. This applies in ALL things, not just those as the wife sees fit. If she has to take direction from her mother, then she may not respect you, care about you, trust you or even love you. I'm putting all the possibilities on the table. Does that mean you should get a divorce? That becomes a personal decision, but this is what I've learned about the law and the Bible in regards to this. God hates divorce; however, it can be used in different situations. While God hates divorce, he would not have you live in a situation so intolerable that it cause you to sin against God. What good would it do you or your soul to live in a marriage wherein you wanted another life, maybe another wife? That scenario then brings up the major questions. For instance, if you leave this marriage, then what? How many times should you attempt to reconcile? What kind of life can you pursue if divorce is the alternative in this situation? How far are you required to go before getting a divorce? It is a deeply personal issue, so let's focus on your specific concern as I understand it. This is how it is answered from the Bible. Some marriages are not biblical and cannot ever be honored. Marrying outside one's faith or race doesn't constitute a biblical marriage. Sexual immorality is a cause for divorce. Abandonment is a cause for divorce. There is one more that is rarely discussed and that may help you reconcile your feelings on this issue. That is called spiritual death. When the Bible speaks of a partner in a marriage departing, we think of it as physically leaving the marriage. But, this (spiritual death) departing is much like the way a physical death releases one from a marriage so that they may continue their life (and even remarry if it is God's will.) Click on this link and read the article: bibletolife.com/resources/questions/are-christians-allowed-to-get-divorced/If I understand you concern right now, it is based upon this spiritual death wherein your wife has essentially abandoned the marriage contract and put her mother (and other family members) into the dynamic so that you are not the spiritual - and maybe not even the head of affairs in your own house. Meanwhile, your wife keeps promising things will be different, but what do you think? Has your wife ever consented and gone to Christian counseling with you? Has she ever organized a meeting with those family members and apologized to you while telling them, in no uncertain terms, that they should respect you as the head of the house and she will be obedient to you in that regard? If someone is using the power of control, they may use empty promises; they may even threaten suicide or pretend to have serious medical issues that will somehow vanish if you relent and give in to their demands. A person that has died spiritually and wants to control you can wreck your life and, ultimately, drag you both into a life of sin. How many years has this situation been going on and what steps have you taken so far to fix your relationship?
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Post by The Resister on Dec 27, 2023 3:19:00 GMT
After thinking this over some more, I was hesitant to give you this Bible lesson this early, but you really need to read this. Consider this from the Bible: " Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth." II Timothy 2: 17
"All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness" II Timothy 3: 16 " For I am the Lord, I change not; therefore ye sons of Jacob are not consumed." Malachi 3: 6 If ALL SCRIPTURE is profitable for doctrine, correction, reproof and instruction in righteousness and if God never changes, then what would God do in this dilemma? There is the story of how God took (biblical) Israel to be his bride and had what was essentially a marriage ceremony and due to disobedience, God divorced Israel. In Jeremiah 3: 8 we read: " And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also." Jeremiah 3: 8 In our ever-changing world, the churches have tried to rewrite the Bible to fit narratives that don't hold up. They want you to believe that the only way that you should entertain a divorce is if the woman commits adultery. Then the woman cannot remarry, but the man can AND if the woman is twice divorced, she cannot marry her first husband again. Confusing enough for you? That is not what the Bible is talking about, however. When God divorced Israel, he was divorcing both the men and women for disobedience and adultery doesn't mean what you think in this context. Read all of Jeremiah chapter 3. Israel went up under " every green tree" and played a harlot (v. 6); Israel defiled the land and committed adultery with stones and stocks (v. 9) You can't have sex with stones and stocks and the terminology " every green tree" is language that is tied to idol worship. For example, staying in Jeremiah, let's turn to chapter 10: Hear ye the word which the LORD speaketh unto you, O house of Israel: 2 Thus saith the LORD, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them. 3 For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe. 4 They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not."Now drop down to verse 8: " But they are altogether brutish and foolish: the stock is a doctrine of vanities." Jeremiah 10: 8 According to one source: a. The phrase "every green tree" is only one letter in excess of "evergreen tree" and that b. Every occurrence of it in scripture relates to: i. The judgment of God ii. The idolatry of the people, and iii. Whoring after false gods,www.bereanresearchinstitute.com/05_Other_Issues/OTH.0012_Every_Green_Trees_-_to_Worship_False_gods.htmlYou may want to check out how many times that phrase is applied in the Bible by reading the above link So, now let's get really deep here: You've been taught that adultery, which is a part of the Ten Commandments, but what if you are only being taught HALF the truth? Now, you're going to get the rest of the story. There are only TEN Commandments. Do you think that God would repeat himself with only TEN basic Commandments? If you answer yes, explain why that a stock is a doctrine of vanities? Let's look closely: Adultery, as you and I know it, is covered in the TENTH Commandment. The SEVENTH Commandment is about an entirely different subject. The word adultery in that context refers to adulterate something OR, in other words, to make it impure. If you need a posting regarding that point, let me know. We can go deeply into it. The point is, God divorced Israel over disobedience. It had nothing to do with a sexual crime since not ALL of the Israelites had engaged in sex crimes. God would not have you condemned to eternal misery simply because someone wants to tie you down to a marriage contract that they don't want to be bound by. Finally, I will tell you how I come to that conclusion. American jurisprudence is based on the Anglo Saxon Common Law. That law has it roots in biblical law. In the law of contracts, it is an established fact that once one party breaches the contract, the other party is under no obligation to honor the contract. To be practical, how can you rule your home in accordance with God's laws when you have a wife that is "whoring after other gods" and you cannot guide your home as per God's charge? Would God have you negotiate away your position in the home just to serve a wife that is worshipping Mammon? How could you reconcile being a Christian and living a life full of disobedience, subservience and sin? Okay, enough of that rant. Think it over and present any questions you might have.
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lee
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You have unalienable Rights from Jesus Christ our Creator; No Government can take it away.
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Post by lee on Dec 28, 2023 16:57:00 GMT
I appreciate the detailed insight. Yes, my marriage is currently in separation. I married a Indian woman outside my race without realizing it was a sin. I want to do right by God and obey his law. Our marriage suffers from the in-laws running the marriage because my wife allows it. Also, there is some extreme anger issues that can't be worked out on her part. She said she went to counseling and I believe she did, but the anger issues are still there. I'm just thankful we didn't have children as that would have complicated life entirely. Can I biblically get remarried after a Divorce?
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Post by The Resister on Dec 28, 2023 19:29:35 GMT
I appreciate the detailed insight. Yes, my marriage is currently in separation. I married a Indian woman outside my race without realizing it was a sin. I want to do right by God and obey his law. Our marriage suffers from the in-laws running the marriage because my wife allows it. Also, there is some extreme anger issues that can't be worked out on her part. She said she went to counseling and I believe she did, but the anger issues are still there. I'm just thankful we didn't have children as that would have complicated life entirely. Can I biblically get remarried after a Divorce? Let me see if I can respond to this correctly. In order to have a valid contract, you have competent parties. When you are of different faiths or different races, could you contract to marriage given God's laws? My inclination is to say not. For example, God told the Israelites never to intermarry with the Canaanites. For example, see Deuteronomy 7: 1 - 6: "7 When the Lord thy God shall bring thee into the land whither thou goest to possess it, and hath cast out many nations before thee, the Hittites, and the Girgashites, and the Amorites, and the Canaanites, and the Perizzites, and the Hivites, and the Jebusites, seven nations greater and mightier than thou; 2 and when the Lord thy God shall deliver them before thee; thou shalt smite them, and utterly destroy them; thou shalt make no covenant with them, nor shew mercy unto them: 3 neither shalt thou make marriages with them; thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son. 4 For they will turn away thy son from following me, that they may serve other gods: so will the anger of the Lord be kindled against you, and destroy thee suddenly. 5 But thus shall ye deal with them; ye shall destroy their altars, and break down their images, and cut down their groves, and burn their graven images with fire. 6 For thou art an holy people unto the Lord thy God: the Lord thy God hath chosen thee to be a special people unto himself, above all people that are upon the face of the earth." In Numbers Chapter 25 we find that the Israelites began to " commit whoredom with the daughters of Moab" ( verse 1.) Here again is an example of what happened to the people who intermarried with another race. God had an AIDS like plague come over the people, but this was ended with the example set by Phineas. Let's review what happened: "6 And, behold, one of the children of Israel came and brought unto his brethren a Midianitish woman in the sight of Moses, and in the sight of all the congregation of the children of Israel, who were weeping before the door of the tabernacle of the congregation. 7 And when Phinehas, the son of Eleazar, the son of Aaron the priest, saw it, he rose up from among the congregation, and took a javelin in his hand; 8 and he went after the man of Israel into the tent, and thrust both of them through, the man of Israel, and the woman through her belly. So the plague was stayed from the children of Israel." Numbers 25: 6 - 8 God tolerates the sin of disobedience, but as you yourself noted, it complicates life entirely. Again, Judah intermarried into the Canaanite branch (Genesis 38: 2) and had offspring. These descendants that we call " Jews" tried to claim an inheritance among the Israelites, but Jesus exposed them in John Chapter 8. The basic story is that the Jews claimed to be of the seed of Abraham, but God told them they were also of their father, the devil and traced their lineage back to Cain (who was a murderer from the beginning) and fathered the Canaanite seed line. On that basis, from what you've said, I don't know that a biblical marriage ever existed. Now, let me switch gears on you. In the New Testament we find some basic outlines for what we think of as a " biblical marriage." But, I want to point out something among all those admonitions (especially by Paul.) Paul writes this: " But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment." Most of what is written about the institution of marriage is not God's commandment. The only undisputed part of the Bible dealing with divorce is found in Deuteronomy 24: 1 - 4: " When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. 2 And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man’s wife. 3 And if the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth it in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her to be his wife; 4 her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the Lord: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the Lord thy God giveth thee for an inheritance." Emphasis for a special reason. Theologians have long debated what " uncleanness" means in that context since its closest English translation is empty or barren. That means we must rely on case law in the Bible to draw a distinction. I've told you about God divorcing Israel for the sin of disobedience. In the instant case, you have implied that your wife would never have allowed you to perform the duties of a husband; you would have been subservient to your mother in law and other relatives. You could stay in a marriage IF your wife submitted to your role in the home. You are not obligated to. From a spiritual context, your marriage would have been barren (both childless and without the Holy Spirit) and it would be a point of contention and chaos. Ultimately you would have to choose between being subservient to your relatives OR taking charge of your own house. Since it was your wife's decision to rebel against your lawful position in the home, you would be free to divorce her and move on. So, on count one - I'm not convinced that a valid marriage existed and secondly, IF we accept that your wife entered the marriage, but does not submit to the husband and causes the home to be barren of both offspring and a home guided by Godly principles, then you would be entitled to a divorce and find someone that can accept you in that role as the husband. Does that make sense?
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Post by The Resister on Dec 29, 2023 18:09:19 GMT
Without some kind of feedback I never know when I've answered a question or when the poster needs more information. I'll try this once more in an effort to help. Failing at marriage is one of the hardest things to do in this life. Some have said that losing your spouse in divorce is second only to losing a child. We may feel like we've failed and we've failed God and that maybe we can't get married again. Yet Paul tells us in the Bible that his guidelines aren't commandment. The problem is, we can hold ourselves to a high standard, but we can't hold someone else to that same standard as there is no mechanism to make them change. If one were to take the Bible literally AND ignore the fact that the guidelines aren't commandments, the only reason we could get divorced is due to adultery AND then, only the man could initiate proceedings. Let's put the shoe on the other foot: Let us suppose that a husband is a drunk and a drug addict. He doesn't work; his wife has minimal working skills. So, this husband orders his wife to sleep with other men for money. Ultimately, the kids are going to understand what is going on. Do you think that a kind and merciful God would force a wife to stay in such a situation AND subject children to it without recourse? The guidelines in the Bible presume that you live in a somewhat Godly home. Not everybody does. That is why we have to rely on case law in the Bible, not just statutes, judgments and ordinances. In studying case law, the Commandments teach " thou shalt not kill." But, then you have case law like David v. Goliath; there was Samson who took the jawbone of an ass and killed a thousand men; of course we talked earlier about Phineas. That is how the law is applied. We now differentiate by saying kill and murder - which are not the same, except to the guy that is dead. Dead is dead. But, from the perspective of justice, we deal with the wicked. When God told his people that they were being divorced for having committed " adultery" (Jeremiah 3: 8) it was not a sexual crime; it is one of obedience. Today we use the English vernacular to say screwing around and / or effing around, but it is not always in relation to a sexual indiscretion. When you compromise God's law you adulterate it. Adulterate is defined as: " to corrupt, debase, or make impure by the addition of a foreign or inferior substance or element especially : to prepare for sale by replacing more valuable with less valuable or inert ingredients" www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/adulterateTHAT is what Israel did by worshiping false Gods, backsliding into sin and things of that nature. If you look at the word fornication as used in Matthew 19:9 for example (which would lead you to think that sleeping with another guy is the only reason you can divorce a wife) you would learn something new. If you look in Strong's Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible and research fornication as per the example you would find that it is FIGURATIVE language. By all means, look it up. Any other interpretation would lead you down some strange rabbit holes and question Bible case law on the subject. If, as Matthew 19: 5 contends that man and a wife are to become one and something isn't working, then something isn't right AND it is not always a sexual indiscretion that is leading the marriage into chaos and divisiveness. Fact is, Matthew 19 doesn't even stay with the supposed sexual theme to continue. You can stay in a bad marriage and be unhappy. You can bring up children in a home that doesn't know God - for if it were a Godly home, the man would be the head of the household. You can destroy your future and that of someone that thinks their happiness is tied to being able to control you. You can find all the justifications you like to make you feel happy about a failure that isn't yours in the first place. OR you can get divorced and start anew. Know this: If you stay in an unhappy marriage and try to work outside of the parameters of a Godly home, you will remain unhappy and unfulfilled. It may be 25 years or so later that you look back and see how much time you wasted in a failed effort. OR you can simply admit what is sensible. God would not ask you to do what HE could not or would not do. God divorced Israel; Jesus died on the Cross and biblical Israel could then be rejoined with God. You can't die on the Cross. It's been done for you. You have to work with the grounds for divorce that a just nation offers when things cannot be fixed. If it can't be saved, you don't go down with the Titanic. Hopefully this has made some kind of sense to you.
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lee
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You have unalienable Rights from Jesus Christ our Creator; No Government can take it away.
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Post by lee on Dec 30, 2023 21:23:10 GMT
I have learned a lot from you, and you have certainly answered my questions. From reading the scripture you have provided and providing details I understand where I went wrong marrying my Wife. I personally should have known before we were married but at that time, I was young and dumb. I had blinders on and wasn't able to see the truth for what it was. I have noticed that so many people are interracially marrying more now and breaking Gods law. I do not want to repeat my mistakes in this marriage or disappoint God. Why is it so many women want to control their man? I personally can't understand or grasp this concept. Is it out of FEAR? I have felt unhappy and unfulfilled since I married her. Your information makes alot of sense to me and I have no intention of going down with the Titanic or getting on another Titanic.
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lee
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You have unalienable Rights from Jesus Christ our Creator; No Government can take it away.
Posts: 123
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Post by lee on Jan 7, 2024 16:16:34 GMT
I never put together God Divorcing Israel in relation to a marriage, but it does make sense. My biggest issue is I feel I am not good enough for God, but I am saved, and I am a sinner. I know I have made mistakes and my marriage failed. But I do not want to stay in a marriage and be miserable all my life. When I got married and before there were Red Flags I ignored because I thought I loved her. She made promises that everything would change before and after we married. Everything remained and increasingly got worse.
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Post by The Resister on Jan 8, 2024 22:17:55 GMT
I never put together God Divorcing Israel in relation to a marriage, but it does make sense. My biggest issue is I feel I am not good enough for God, but I am saved, and I am a sinner. I know I have made mistakes and my marriage failed. But I do not want to stay in a marriage and be miserable all my life. When I got married and before there were Red Flags I ignored because I thought I loved her. She made promises that everything would change before and after we married. Everything remained and increasingly got worse. All of us fear failure. And, when it happens, we feel guilty even when the fault lies with someone else. What I would say to you is to look forward and don't look back. You've already been in the past. Don't carry it with you into the future. Learn from your mistakes and make sure you understand them and do your best not to repeat them. God has forgiven worse screwups than people like you and I. Look at the tax collector, the thief and those who ruined their lives in Bible stories. And yet, they went down in history as heroes. My own career in the ministry was temporarily derailed after getting divorced. The church misinformed me. They relied on a couple of chapters in the Bible wherein Jesus himself is speaking. In order to put the conversation into context (Matthew 19:3-12, Mark 10:2-12) Jesus finds himself trying to explain things and the Pharisees trying to interrogate him. However, the Bible, specifically the giving of the law was not meant for the offspring of Canaanites to be understood. And you have no doubt had experiences with nitpickers who tell you that you said one thing that you absolutely did not say. If there is more than one way to interpret something you will have those claiming you said something you didn't say (and you may have qualified your statements by making sure to negate the misinterpretations of what you said.) It is the custom of the Pharisees (Canaanites) to show Jesus out of harmony with the Law of Moses. Check out Matt. 22: 34 to read about one of their " lawyers" trying to interrogate Jesus. Anyway, the point is, Jesus had enough of their nitpicking and he gave them a short answer, but the Jews didn't understand the law because they weren't of Israel. In all of these discourses, you have to remember that Jesus cites the law given to Moses. You have the rest of the story on this thread. Virtually all men have the same shortcoming when they are still young enough to have a high testosterone rate. They think with two heads: the head of their penis and then their head that contains a brain (supposedly.) An old man told me when I was 17 that a stiff penis had no conscience (his verbiage was a bit more colorful.) When you first meet someone, it might seem like it's a match made in Heaven. If you stick around to have three major disagreements and two of them are about her relatives and another about money, then you start getting a better picture of what she's about. Here are the things that every man should know about a woman before marriage: 1) Does she believe in abortion? 2) What say, if any, does the man have if she contemplates an abortion? 3) If you have kids, who comes first in the relationship? If she says the kids do, you will not have ANY authority in your house 4) How will the family finances be handled? 5) If you lose your job OR if she makes more than you, does that entitle her to be the head of the house? If she makes more than you, how does she feel about a joint checking account? 6) How dependent does she consider herself in relation to her relatives? In other words, does she seek the approval of her parents, siblings, etc. when making financial decisions? 7) Of your top FIVE political stances, how many does a potential wife disagree with you on? If each stance is worth 20 points, you know the odds are of a lasting marriage going in? In other words, if she disagrees with you on one issue, your marriage has an 80 percent survival rate (not factoring in the other questions herein)... over two differences in political ideology, you're probably sunk (your survival odds are 60 percent, not factoring in any other question here) 8) How do the two of you divide up bill paying and home chores? What are you responsible for and what is she responsible for? 9) What, if any, religion does she believe and how much of the doctrine does she believe / follow? 10) It is vacation time or holiday season or whatever - Whose family do the two of you go to see? This is an important one. I was married and for seven years straight I never got to see my family. All of our off time was spent going to see HER family. One year she refused to relent. I took her to her family's house and drove on to see my family. She filed for divorce shortly thereafter. These are important issues. Little things can really screw up a marriage. Ask a potential wife who will be her beneficiary when she passes on. It's the little things that become big issues and many times insurmountable.
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lee
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You have unalienable Rights from Jesus Christ our Creator; No Government can take it away.
Posts: 123
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Post by lee on Jan 18, 2024 16:45:24 GMT
I have got to know the girl I am dating little better. It seems you never really know people, but you have to spend time with them to know them. As per for your advice in questions, I'll respond as to my conversation with her.
1. She is against Abortion, and so am I. Abortion is a huge evil against innocent children.
2. She believes is no Abortion and discussing decisions with "Future Husband."
3. As per our conversation she said the kids come first right Now, Should I ask her how would it be if she and I were to marry?
4. Family Finances as she desires are joint accounts and shared, bills paid today and split. What do you suggest? From my Divorce I do not like Joint Accounts anymore.
5. I haven't discussed this issue yet, but it will be my next discussion with her. As we will have many discussions.
6. She agrees that the marriage and spouse come before families. My previous marriage the mother-in-law destroyed the marriage.
7. Can you explain this more, as we are both Conservative. What should be politically discussed to further see our compatibility?
8. We agree that Bills and everything 50/50 which much more in detail needs to be explained in this.
9. Christian and Baptist same as I.
10. I need to ask her about this one, it is important she and I discuss this.
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Post by The Resister on Jan 18, 2024 21:07:42 GMT
I have got to know the girl I am dating little better. It seems you never really know people, but you have to spend time with them to know them. As per for your advice in questions, I'll respond as to my conversation with her. 1. She is against Abortion, and so am I. Abortion is a huge evil against innocent children. 2. She believes is no Abortion and discussing decisions with "Future Husband." 3. As per our conversation she said the kids come first right Now, Should I ask her how would it be if she and I were to marry? 4. Family Finances as she desires are joint accounts and shared, bills paid today and split. What do you suggest? From my Divorce I do not like Joint Accounts anymore. 5. I haven't discussed this issue yet, but it will be my next discussion with her. As we will have many discussions. 6. She agrees that the marriage and spouse come before families. My previous marriage the mother-in-law destroyed the marriage. 7. Can you explain this more, as we are both Conservative. What should be politically discussed to further see our compatibility? 8. We agree that Bills and everything 50/50 which much more in detail needs to be explained in this. 9. Christian and Baptist same as I. 10. I need to ask her about this one, it is important she and I discuss this. You would think a topic this important would have generated interest from the lurkers amongst us. Let me be a bit long winded here: You haven't gotten out of one bad marriage before considering another. Take your time. The last thing you want to do is get remarried on the rebound. You have time. Ask questions casually and never all of them at one time. Ask about one issue every other date. Ease into it casually. It is said that you won't take a fool's advice until you've been a fool yourself. The problem is, while that is true it is also very costly. You learned a valuable lesson with regards to procrastination. Let's hope you do better with this round of advice. I view politics as religion in action. What you see in terms of moral absolutes are the qualities you will look for in the political candidates that represent you. For me there was a great awakening. My family were Baptists. Then I learned how the Baptists elevated the Jews above all other people with mythical beliefs that Jews are God's chosen people; they represent all of biblical Israel, etc. Then there was the rapture doctrine. That wasn't biblical either. The straw that broke the camel's back was when they elevated Martin Luther King, Jr. to the same status as Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. I reject all of that notion that Jesus did away with the law. We've addressed most of that on this board. I mention that because you have expressed concerns over some of those issues. You may find out you are out of touch with Baptist doctrine. I know I am. That is why I am now a Christian Israelite. But, back to your topic: I would figure out the top five political issues to me personally. In my case, the first political issue (religious issues notwithstanding) is gun control. Other issues crisscross that issue so several get lumped into one. This is just an example. I do not believe in gun control in any way, shape, fashion or form. In ANY relationship, marriage or otherwise, I do not pursue them if the person is on the wrong side of gun control OR the issues that surround it. If someone believes in background checks, raising the age limit, banning certain guns, etc. it is a deal breaker. I know it wouldn't work out. You cannot defend your Life, Liberty, or Freedom without the right tools. AND, you have to remember that the whole right wing dumped me because I do not compromise on the Right to Privacy. I do not submit to the POLICE STATE, National ID, warrant less searches, etc. The overwhelming majority of women (and most men) want crap like Voter ID, National ID cards and other forms of government permission when the individual has a God given Right. Those issues are important to me. I can explain it to people and they can reconsider, but at the end of the day I can explain it to them, but I cannot understand it for them. YOU have to decide what issues are important to you and then figure out where others stand - and in this case, what a woman will tell you and what they believe is horses of a different color. Again, let me explain this from a practical perspective: My wife is the daughter of a preacher. She says all the right things and even votes for candidates that have traditional Christian values. But, in her personal life, she is 180 degrees polar opposite. And I share this with you because your girlfriend has children. A man is the head of the house in ALL things. When a woman has children by one man, but marries another, that man can become the odd man out. My wife believes that she should be the only person to discipline " her" children. While I admit that her husband is one of the sorriest excuses of a man that I ever met, I'm not so sure my wife's divorce was all on him. Not being able to discipline her sons, they both became welfarites and drug addicts that never held a job, never got the benefit of a high school education and drain her of all her money. I'm not allowed to put my foot down. That is her line in the sand. Together we will have NOTHING. My money goes into the house. I bought it and paid for it before I met her. ALL the upgrades I paid for. I pay the taxes and the insurance. She foots the bill for utilities and the food. Unless you have a clear idea of WHO gets to set boundaries for the kids and disciplines them, you WILL never become a real husband. When those kids become teens and adults you could become a hostage in your own house. My wife never wanted her sons to have to work or to sacrifice. And they don't. And when they come here, they run the show. The older one died of a drug overdose; the younger lives in a tent now, knowing that if he comes back here, he will wind up dead or in prison. It was so bad that social services told him the next time he tried to assault me physically, he was looking at being charged with a felony. You have to think about that because those babies will some day be grown ups. What role will you play in their lives? * (see below) Another issue of importance to me personally (and one I'd ask you to consider) is another person's reliance on the government. The only reason my marriage survives is that neither of us do business with the government. My wife's oldest son attacked me in the house one time. He threw a belt around my neck from behind while I was in the kitchen. He put his knee in my back and began choking me out. I was able to get to the dish drainer and get a knife. Then (and only then) my wife tried to get involved. I couldn't stop him without stabbing her, so I grabbed his arm and began thrusting it into the side of the sink. I broke his wrist in two places and shattered his arm. When he got out of the hospital, he moved out. We didn't report it because it would have become a " domestic violence" issue. They wouldn't call because if he were arrested, he would have been tried on felony charges. I wouldn't report it because my wife would lie against me in order to keep him out of jail. These are situations that could happen to you later on. And, remember, a woman may say one thing and do the polar opposite in real life. You can't take their word for these things. It isn't' until you have a situation that you know how she will react. Hopefully it will be a minor one. Now, let's talk finances. This is my personal opinion as to how it should be. I would have a joint checking account for the regular bills, but both of you have a separate personal account. This is for practical reasons. You pay all the joint bills: rent, utilities, food, insurance, etc. and give yourselves an allowance for your personal checking account. If you have a joint account each of you will know what the other is getting for Valentines Day, Mother's Day, Father's Day, birthdays, anniversary and Christmas. That, in my mind, justifies that part of it. Secondly, if a creditor has an account frozen, you still have money in the other accounts. I got put in the hospital once (in critical condition.) My employer was self insured. Sooo... the hospital was allowed to put a lien against my property and freeze my bank account. I had nothing until the employer stepped up to the plate and guaranteed payment. Imagine if he hadn't! I hope this helps. If not, let me know. I look forward to any feedback. * - We were watching a cowboy movie once on tv. A cowboy, his wife and her kids by a previous marriage were sitting around the kitchen table eating and talking. One of the kids didn't like what the man of the house had to say and he started that familiar standard canard: " you aren't my daddy, you can't make me..." whereupon the mother back-handed that little boy and said, " don't you ever disrespect my husband under this roof." I said that is the way life ought to be. My wife disagreed. Life is barely worth living when you're the odd man out.
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Post by The Resister on Jan 19, 2024 16:25:55 GMT
I'm going to do one more post here and hope that you take this to heart.
At your age there is a certain urgency about finding someone and settling down. We get that. At the same time, there is something called bias confirmation. Bias confirmation occurs when you seek out answers, but frame it so that you get the answer (s) you want to hear. All new relationships are like that. That is especially true when we just left a bad relationship. When all the stars seem to line up perfectly and you find no potential problems in a new relationship, you have created a bias confirmation. You may get the answer you want, but reality may kick you in the backside down the road.
The really big issue that I see as an outsider looking in is that you may not be up to date on Baptist doctrines. As such, you may not see a problem, but having told you how your opinion differs from their doctrine, you have been forewarned. Now, let me go a step further. Since Baptists don't believe that we still live under the law someone brought up in a Baptist church sees nothing wrong with divorce. You're getting the right answer from the lady you're dating, but it might be for the wrong reason (s.) Notice I'm saying it might be, not necessarily that it is. Most people have an idea of what their religion is about though they are ignorant of the real beliefs behind the application behind them. A person who believes in moral absolutes and then finds out that their church doctrine says we are no longer under the law can reach some really bizarre conclusions. They too may face a moral dilemma and want the Bible to see it their way. So they seek out bias confirmation. In a relationship, I would advise that you figure out how a person reaches their conclusions.
Let me give you an example and this is an example only:
Suppose that a person tells you they are opposed to inter-racial marriages on biblical grounds. But, if are no longer under the law, it can't be a sin since sin is a transgression of the law. It stands to reason: if there is no law, there is no way to transgress what doesn't exist. Furthermore, in Baptist beliefs they contend that Adam was the first man and all races sprang from Adam. So, we're all the same given that rationale (albeit not supported by the Scriptures. What, then, would be the moral basis for opposing inter-racial marriage? Presupposing that a Baptist has never been faced with these applications of their tenets of faith (and 99 out of 100 never read up on the actual doctrine), what do they believe when they have to face their own reality? For example, suppose that you marry someone and they believe inter-racial marriage is unacceptable and you so you continue into the relationship. Fifteen years down the road, her child by a previous marriage gets involved with a non-White and moves them in with you. Your then wife is livid, but the child has studied the Bible doctrine and shows the mother she's wrong. Now, the mother doesn't want to lose her child. You don't want to live in a house with a mamzer, but you don't have a choice. It's either let the mother's kid and their mamzer live with you OR you leave.
I guess that what I'm trying to say here is that you should think about what you believe and then reconcile it with the beliefs of the denomination you associate yourself with and then figure out how it interacts with your new relationship. Do you understand what I'm saying?
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lee
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You have unalienable Rights from Jesus Christ our Creator; No Government can take it away.
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Post by lee on Jan 22, 2024 15:08:08 GMT
You are very informative and could write a book with the knowledge you share. I have dedicated and committed to every time I see my girlfriend to ask her a important question that could make or break our current relationship. She told me she hates politics, but it doesn't mean she doesn't have an opinion which she does. She has two children and a Ex Husband she claims is not hard to get along with. How do you recommend making a relationship work with a EX Husband around at times possibly and two Stepchildren? I am brand new to this side of a relationship. It is more difficult the older you get to find someone with no children. I never thought of these things so much when I was younger. I see the world through a different Lense now. I have been following a Baptist Preacher for years "Chuck Baldwin" who is opposed to the Jewish World Order and does not believe Jews are Gods Chosen people but Christians. He is against the Covid Vaccine Scheme and more so. I do agree as I grew up in a Free Will Baptist Church and there are parts to the way they believe in which I do not. I consider myself Independent Fundamental Baptist more so now most important I am a " Born Again Christian." I assume because my previous Wife was a Christian and we thought alike that everything would work out perfectly. I was extremely mistaken. How does someone really know when they are with the right person? Relationships today appear to be more broken than ever, and it is very discouraging. Off Topic but where does a person find a church now days in their community that is not Zionist?
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Post by The Resister on Jan 22, 2024 22:40:07 GMT
You are very informative and could write a book with the knowledge you share. I have dedicated and committed to every time I see my girlfriend to ask her a important question that could make or break our current relationship. She told me she hates politics, but it doesn't mean she doesn't have an opinion which she does. She has two children and a Ex Husband she claims is not hard to get along with. How do you recommend making a relationship work with a EX Husband around at times possibly and two Stepchildren? I am brand new to this side of a relationship. It is more difficult the older you get to find someone with no children. I never thought of these things so much when I was younger. I see the world through a different Lense now. I have been following a Baptist Preacher for years "Chuck Baldwin" who is opposed to the Jewish World Order and does not believe Jews are Gods Chosen people but Christians. He is against the Covid Vaccine Scheme and more so. I do agree as I grew up in a Free Will Baptist Church and there are parts to the way they believe in which I do not. I consider myself Independent Fundamental Baptist more so now most important I am a " Born Again Christian." I assume because my previous Wife was a Christian and we thought alike that everything would work out perfectly. I was extremely mistaken. How does someone really know when they are with the right person? Relationships today appear to be more broken than ever, and it is very discouraging. Off Topic but where does a person find a church now days in their community that is not Zionist? Quite possibly the greatest hurdle you will face is the relationship with your girlfriend's kids and the ex. I don't know the guy so there is no good advice to be had. You will have to determine his personality type. Is he bitter over the divorce? How would he react if you had to discipline the children? How will he react to your political or religious convictions? The best advice I could offer there is to be a good observer and a good listener. People may say one thing and act a different way. Look, listen, observe, ask questions if you have something that might determine whether or not you want to be part of their dynamic. I was in a relationship once and when I stood up for the lady I was going with, she and her parents told me to mind my own " G.D. business." You would not have wanted to be within a thousand miles of that kind of drama. As you might imagine, a quarter of a century ago I knew Chuck Baldwin personally. As you also know, I was kicked to the curb by the right for not jumping onto the right political bandwagons. I read a lot of stuff that Baldwin put out (the Chuckwagon IIRC.) Anyway, when preachers on the right jumped onto a political bandwagon that I can tell you, for a fact, will not produce a good outcome, and I disagreed, they ignored me and belittled me. Here it is a quarter of a century later and they are STILL moaning and wailing about the immigration debacle. If you go back to the 1980s thru 1990s we were winning the immigration battle. The right has turned victory into inevitable defeat. I do not understand the WHY of it. But, for that reason, I am persona non-grata with Baldwin. Having worked IN immigration law for six years, I can promise them, that a decade from now they will still be in no better shape (actually they will be in worse shape having bought into the POLICE STATE.) Enough of that. Insofar as knowing if a relationship will work out, you really don't know. When you first start dating, both you and the lady you date will want the other to see the good side of each other. Flaws are well hidden. Had I known that my wife was mollycoddling her sons and that they had never worked, would never work and expected to live off me AND boss me around in my own home, do you think I would have gotten married? I'm finding out that the overwhelming majority of women in the United States believe in mollycoddling their children - especially boys. That is why you have so many feminine males with an identity crisis. Women in this country say they disagree when you tell them that enabling kids never helps them. The other piece of advice that I would give you is to never get into a relationship with a woman that has called the cops to intervene in a " domestic" situation. It only takes you getting tossed in the hoosegow ONCE and then you can kiss all your constitutional Liberties good-bye. I only do business with people that don't do business with cops. In my mind, the best way to figure out if a relationship stands a chance is for you to make a list of things that are important to you. With me, I know I will not ever date a woman that has an aversion to firearms. That's a non starter for me. If a woman is into multiculturalism and gets defensive or accusatory toward people for believing in cultural integrity, I know that relationship won't work out. For you, one of the things that ended the relationship was a woman that has to have her mother involved in every decision - even those that affect you and should not be a mother in law's business. You have to take some time, make a list of those deal breakers and the evaluate how a possible mate might think along those lines. With the passing of Mike Hallimore there doesn't seem to be a lot of new stuff happening from Kingdom Identity Ministries. Christian Identity was more of a movement to reclaim our rightful place as God's elect. Right now I don't think there is an actual church outside of our effort to establish a denomination for those who adhere to the tenets of faith of our forefathers. The closest would be Pastor Dan Gayman. However, when Gayman found out that Lt. Col. James "Bo" Gritz had firearms in his automobile during his stay at one of their church functions, Gayman forced Gritz off the property. As much as I like Dan, I disagree with him on being a pacifist and I don't go anywhere my firearm isn't welcome. That being the case, a few years ago we began the Anglo Israelite Christian Church. As of now there are three Bible study groups and one of those is abroad. You would have to read the Tenets of Faith of churches to see which one comes closest to representing your views. I would recommend that you take that course from Kingdom Identity Ministries to see if it is something you would learn from and agree with. If so, you should start a Bible Study group in your area. Being in North Carolina, there should be a lot of similar groups to network with. Be advised that you may find groups that are seed line and some that non-seedline. Also, a guy named William Finck seems to have been bankrolled by someone and he appears to be the HNIC of most things " Identity." I went on his discussion board once and some guy asked about Identity and seedline philosophy. I answered the man and Finck got royally whizzed off, said I didn't know what I was talking about and banned me. Funny thing: I've studied Comparet, Swift and the real Identity pioneers since the 1970s not to mention having been teaching classes and was an associate minister in a Christian Identity church going back to 1979. It's complicated and convoluted. If I were you, I'd take Strittmatter's course in Bible Law and take the Kingdom Identity Ministries course @ the American Institute of Theology. After you do that you may want to affiliate with the Anglo Israelite Christian Church and start a Bible study group or you can bounce around and try to figure out what you yourself really believe.
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lee
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You have unalienable Rights from Jesus Christ our Creator; No Government can take it away.
Posts: 123
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Post by lee on Jan 30, 2024 23:12:19 GMT
I will reply to this most in depth tomorrow. I have a early morning tomorrow. Post is very interesting.
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